Weekday bass runs, bad ideas with carbonation, and salmon acting like they just slammed pre-workout straight to the gills… Ep. 28 is a ride.
Bret (@13.13.photography), Dave (@davespeerart), and Gary (@ghoule1111) break down recent trips chasing Micropterus spp. with zero restraint, then crack open Fishing Dews— where two dumbasses, questionable decisions, and fishy outcomes collide.
Then we launch a new segment: Fish of the States 🇺🇸 First stop: Alabama — and yeah… nobody was ready for that level of biodiversity. Absolute giants, weirdos, and a species list that spirals fast. By the end, it’s less “discussion” and more “we should probably just go.”
This ep just crash-landed into your earholes and it smells like Everglades mud, jet fuel, and bad decisions.
Bret, Dave, and Gary took their talents south and proceeded to wring 15 species out of the Florida swamp like a bunch of sleep-deprived, sunburnt maniacs. New species for everyone—because nothing bonds a crew faster than collectively not knowing what just ate your lure.
There were Miami dinners (some classy, some… less so), jokes that should never see daylight, and a respectable pile of sacrificed tackle now decorating the bottom of the Everglades. Pour one out.
A guide was hired—and yeah, absolute hammer.
call
Captain Skip at 561.255.1268
Airplanes were sat in. Hotel breakfasts were aggressively consumed. And somewhere in the chaos, the legend of the Grand Wagoneer grew three sizes that day.
We’re wrapping up the Carp Ladder —Cyprinus carpio, you beautiful trash panda of the freshwater world—and sharpening hooks for next month’s descent into Fish of the States. It’s about to get weird. Alabama, you’re on the clock.
Hit play. Tell a friend. Go fish. Not necessarily in that order.
Episode 26 February. Love. Fish. In no particular order and absolutely no supervision.
We’re back. It’s cold. It’s romantic (allegedly). And somehow we’re talking about fish again instead of buying flowers.
Bret and Dave roll through recent trips—questionable weather decisions included—and dive headfirst into the latest fishing news spiral:
🐟 Swedish Fish (and not even about the Carp Ladder. We contain multitudes.) 🎣 Stolen tarpon. Yes. Someone really boosted a silver king. Humanity remains undefeated in weirdness. 🪼 Jellyfish with a unique anus. Evolution is wild and apparently has a sense of humor. 🛸 UFOs. Because if it swims… or hovers ominously over water… we’re probably talking about it.
Then we descend into the final four baits of the Carp Ladder—the strangest, most diabolical offerings yet. If you thought it couldn’t get weirder, congratulations. You were wrong. These baits are less “match the hatch” and more “question your life choices.”
Somewhere in there, we laugh at ourselves. Repeatedly. It’s therapeutic.
🎧 Listen wherever you get your podcasts or dive in at ifitswims.com
📸 Follow the chaos on Instagram: @the_ifitswims_podcast
📩 Got feedback? Love notes? Mild threats? Weird fish photos? Send it to: feedback@ifitswims.com
Episode 25: The crew’s back and barely thawed out—Bret, Gary, and Dave huddle up to swap fish tales from frozen tents, chase the first fish of the year, and unpack some truly cursed crab trap contents (shoutout to the mystery shark head that started 2026 off so right).
We’re back from the field and straight into the fish-adjacent madness — with just enough structure to call this a podcast episode and not a group text gone rogue.
First up: a few recent trips where the fish showed up, the weather didn’t behave, and nobody remembered sunscreen (again).
Then we dive headfirst into some fishing-flavored news that may or may not have happened in the same universe:
Drones being used in ways we’re not legally qualified to comment on
Invasive green crabs doing what invasive green crabs do (eat, ruin, repeat)
And yes, an actual royal king doing royal king things — somehow fishing-related, somehow real
We’ve also got:
A quiet carp ladder update that somehow made things weirder
Weather mood swings of course.
Dave and Bret laughing at their own jokes so much we stopped editing them out
And a mysterious little peek at the future that may involve fins, fire, or both
If it swims, we’re talking about it. If it doesn’t, we probably still tried to put a hook in it.
Full episode at ifitswims.com or wherever your questionable life choices lead you for podcasts.
In this episode, we hit the sand, surf, and straight-up weird side of the fishing world like a hardhead catfish eating something even it wasn’t sure about..
We kick things off with a redfish surf fishing trip that reminded us why salt, sand, and suffering are the holy trinity of angling. Did we catch fish? Absolutely. Did we sunburn in places that shouldn’t see daylight? You bet.
Then it’s on to fishing news, where things get weird real quick: Fish-themed video games? Check. piebald blue catfish straight outta your patchwork nightmares? Yep. A flooded restaurant where you eat knee-deep in water while fish cruise past your table? Of course that’s real. Welcome to the apocalypse, served with fries.
We also climb back onto the carp ladder, adding four more strange and weird baits to our ever-growing arsenal of questionable decisions. Do they work? Tune in. Or better yet, try ’em and tell us how many carp laughed at you.
Plus: Listener feedback so good we had to Google a few things to see if y’all were messing with us. You weren’t. You’re just deeply weird and we love you for it.
Somewhere in there we ask the eternal question: What WOULD Jeremy Wade do? (Spoiler: probably that.)
Bret and Dave are back with another round of multi-species mayhem, low-stakes fishing hot takes, and extremely questionable aquatic science. This month, they unpack their latest adventures, troll through some fishy corners of the internet, and add FOUR brand-new offerings to the ever-evolving, totally arbitrary Carp Ladder.
Also on the docket (but not in any logical order): The world’s largest swimming pool (seriously, it’s absurd) People catching fish for the carp ladder (thanks, cult following) Giant fish dangling in shopping malls Murray cod (aka Maccullochella peelii if you’re feelin’ Latin) Chunky smallmouth in Vermont …and other assorted nonsense that we probably should’ve edited out (but didn’t).
The podcast your tackle box warns you about. Stream it, scream it, or ignore it entirely—either way, we’re at:
THE POOL IS DEAD, BUT THE FISH AREN’T: TWO WILD WEEKENDS AT LAKE CISCO
Some places you fish for the beauty. Some places you fish for the solitude. And some places, like the rotting skeleton of the world’s largest swimming pool, you fish because it’s absolutely, unapologetically weird.
Over two weekends, the IFITSWIMS crew—Bret (@13.13.photography), Dave (@davespeerart), and Gary(@ghoule1111)—descended on the ruins under Lake Cisco, where a decaying public pool has fused with a creek and created what can only be described as a fishy fever dream. Gary made it out for Weekend One only, but the chaos spanned both sessions.
WEEKEND ONE: RUNG BY RUNG
The mission was clear: climb the carp ladder. And climb they did. Rung after golden-scaled rung, the squad hauled in common carp (Cyprinus carpio) like it was a job with benefits. A few catfish slithered into the mix, too—likely wondering why these weirdos were posted up in their post-apocalyptic hangout spot.
Gary bowed out after round one. Probably smart.
WEEKEND TWO: TOY RODS AND BUFFALO DREAMS
A week later, Bret and Dave came back for more. Only this time, things spiraled.
Instead of standard gear, they brought a 2-foot child’s rod—or maybe it was an ice rod—either way, it was something you’d expect to see in the hands of a 4-year-old or a confused Minnesotan. They took turns landing carp on this tiny noodley stick, because of course they did.
Then Bret kicked it up another notch and wrangled a smallmouth buffalo (Ictiobus bubalus) on the thing. At that point, physics checked out of the conversation completely.
Because if there’s one rule in this universe it’s this: If it swims… and things get weird… that tracks.
This month, Bret and Dave return from the salt crusted, sunburned trenches of an IFITSWIMS group trip — where sharks were hooked, redfish were wrangled, and someone probably got bit by a crab. They break down the trip, riff on fishy headlines, and give you the latest updates from the Carp Ladder, which is either a wholesome community contest or the beginning of a slippery evolutionary experiment.
🔻 Want to enter the Carp Ladder? Of course you do. Sign up on ifitswims.com under the Contests tab, or just yell at us via email: carpladder@ifitswims.com
